Future Self

Aloha Mama!  I am so stoked for our life chat this week and diving into all the things → FUTURE SELF!

So.....

Our future selves.  In all her glory.  She's the most glowing, best of, highlights, freelance hotness expert, whimsical, hilarious, light, flowing, creative, grounded, imaginative, confident, bold, trusting, loyal, true, and serendipitous form of you that transcends.  She goes ahead of you.  She beckons you forward.  She is you.  

You can connect to her anytime, ask questions of her and feel the space she holds for you.  She desires maximal prosperity for you, and she waits beyond the walls you sometimes impose which block abundance from flowing into your life.  

“There is a natural law of abundance which pervades the entire universe, but it will not flow through a doorway of belief in lack and limitation.”

• Paul Zaiter

This was me in med school→ stopping to pause by the sea after driving over the big bridge home after another day doctoring (the Sunshine Skyway if anyone is familiar--- it is a waaayyyy high bridge on the Gulf Coast of Florida for cruise ships and other vessels to pass underneath and it has a stunning view of the Gulf.... and I loved crossing it to and fro on my hour long commute to and from medical school circa 2010-2014).  

Anyway, this version of Anik knew she needed to get home and study, she felt all the pressures and heaviness of that chapter, but she also felt the growing expansiveness in her soul… the longing to breathe the ocean air, be free and flowing, color outside the lines, deviate from her carefully laid plans and the scripted path in front of her.  

So she drove to the sea, Pass-a-Grille, FL which is this adorable tiny beach town on the southern tip of the St. Petersburg peninsula, and she wandered out on the sand. She also loved playing with the Bokeh heart filter at that time.  These sunglasses may have made it  all the way to + through med school and life on O'ahu and only recently earlier this year got lost on a Maui beach morning playing with Cruz.  She loves wearing headbands like they're crowns or flowers because it makes her feel like the Queen that she is and in harmony with nature, which she was born to be.  She missed nature oh so much all the hours indoors for lectures and med school related things, the hours studying and the days and nights, nights and days to come inside hospital halls.  

She loved this version of herself, serving others through medicine as her vehicle to bring Healing, and yet clearly I remember the longing and the beckoning of my future self then, and I feel it very clearly reminiscing on this picture of her.  

BTW, I'm sweating bullets sitting here drinking hot “coffee” (which is hot water with my Laird superfood creamer mix- I'm not a coffee drinker anymore b/c I stopped having caffeine when I was pregnant with Cam in 2015 on night shift where it was typically not one but multiple round trips to the Doctors lounge for late night coffees to keep me going... I popped in every time I went to evaluate another patient for admission in the Pediatric ED it seemed haha I digress!), BUT I just am not a huge iced “coffee” fan so here I am in 80+ degrees, windows open and gulping down this hot drink calling in for you this latte of a love letter.

Breathing in the salt air I reminded myself of my wholeness and my beauty and that I was following my path everyday. Carving out time to connect to myself and all that I desired- a thriving marriage, a family, soulmate friends I could exist in splendor, serendipity + sacred stratosphere with, and a way to be a Healer/Physician that blesses others and honors who I am.  

This Native Floridian, late-20's-something, one day dreaming to be a Mama visionary you see in the picture above knew not exactly how all of that would transpire and the bravery, loyalty, and honesty to herself it would require, but she trusted. 

And here I am getting to pour into a space I treasure with every ounce of my being.  The evolution of me as a Healer, honoring innately who I was with all of those Mamas in hospital rooms from Florida to Hawai'i, in delivery rooms, postpartum rooms, NICU rooms, PICU rooms, behind the ED curtains, in the clinic--- all the spaces I met and held space and validated Mamas, learned and basked and marveled at their magic and their brilliance.  It was all training grounds for me to gain continued traction and momentum in my soul to emerge into the kind of Healer and Physician I was born to be.  To dream up this space, incubate it, nurture it and birth it into the world.  Mahalo nui loa for allowing me to show up in the way that my future self always knew that I would.  I am so very grateful.

Surfing into these never shallow intentional thoughts, always the deep and refreshing waves to wash over, renew, rejuvenate and confront you in lovingkindness with the immensity of who you are destined to be.

Spend some time with your future self. Write to her, imagine and call in from the future all that you desire in your life.  All the prosperity, all the dreams, all of the thoughts you keep carefully tucked away.  Unpack them all.  I'm here for you to declare anything you want to in a safe space or just to honor that you're playing around in whimsical fascination for all of the clarity that comes from reaching out to her.  Knowing she is always accessible to you, always for you, and that everything…. absolutely EVERYTHING in the universe is always working out for your Divine Good.  

Grab your future self goggles/sunglasses/lenses/snorkel mask/bedtime lavender infused unicorn mask, whatever appeals to your future flow, and see her, experience calling her in.  Know and rest believing that it is all happening for you.  Start feasting your eyes and all your senses on your unique creative buffet.  You are majestic.  You are magnetic.  

“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

• Frederick Buchner

And you read this email for a reason, for you, to be nourished and to be reconnected with her. 

After all, what is life without having your future self to share it with, without connecting to all that you were meant to dream and be and do and live and lean into?!  And sharing it with those who will exchange expansive energy with you to honor your vision brings so much delicious.  I'm savoring all your sacred longings, Mama!

Aloha to your future self, Mama!  She is here with you, even now.

Fan Girling for you around your Future Self and all the power she commands!

- Anik